Monday, May 24, 2004

The Halliburton Post-Game Show
Who's in your wallet?

The Bush Administration evened the Iraqi Championship series 1-1 tonight, with a slim Sovereignty over Tyranny victory. The Democrats led most of the way, but the game's misleading scorer Dubya put his team on his back with just too much pointless rhetoric down the stretch.

"The Iraqi people want freedom, freedom from Terrorists. God put me in a position to execute, and we just made plays. I have to give credit to my ambashaders. We will not fail," Bush said after sinking the go ahead sound byte.

"We just have to focus, and take it one speech at a time," Senator Joe Biden said. "After our Speech 1 blowout win, we felt confident going into this one. Bush was unbeleivable tonight; he kept talking and talking, but never said anything. It's tough to score when he doesn't give us any ammunition."

The Liberals jumped to a quick lead, taking advantage of Dubya's Abu-G-Raib technical foul. Trailing Regime to Progress after the first half, Bush then caught fire - in one sequence nailing three Terrors and 2 Freedoms in one sentence. The controversial buzzer beating "Mandem" out of nowhere stretched the lead to Courage. It appeared to some that the shot clock had expired.

"The @!#&! refs can go $%!@!# themselves," screamed Democrat Asst. Coach James Carville. "Twenty miles outta Washington they're still hangin' brothaz!" Carville was ejected with 6 minutes to speak.

Bush had his first triple double of the series with 18 Terrors, 19 Freedoms, and 10 Sovereignties.

"Both teams played 'ard, both teams played 'ard," a cautious Karl Rove said after the game. When pressed about the questionable "Mandem" shot, Rove just repeated "Both teams palyed 'ard, both teams played 'ard."

Joe Biden led the Democrat effort with an inspired post game analysis. "Bush didn't answer any of the questions that needed to be answered. Details are important. We've got 5 more speeches in this series before the June 30 deadline, and we've still got the home court advantage."

Speech 3 will be televised next Monday on Fox, MSNBC, and ESPN.