Thursday, September 02, 2004


Dipshit didn't look at ease tonight until Dickie boy came out and put Bush under his arm.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

What if Bush wins?

It's a question I've asked myself a number of times. The Washington Monthly has 16 different authors' opions on the subject, ranging from Paul Begala to Grover Norquist. Check it out here.
Tech Tuesday

First off, I know it's wednesday, but how cool does Tech Wednesday sound? Second, Waingroh, keep your comments to yourself.

Apple has unveiled the new iMac, and it's pretty fucking cool. No box, all screen. Complete with wireless keyboard, mouse, and just about everything else. Tape drive/burner is an upgrade. I'd love to get my hands on one, but my cab only supports one computer at a time. I was thinking though, if each of our regular readers donated around $100 I would be about half way there. They begin shipping in about two weeks, so step up and give me some sugar, baby.

And before the Microsoft Borgs come at me, check this out:

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Tonight and all this week: Vomit

The media coverage over the past few weeks have made me physically ill, and disillusioned once again. Culminating with this weeks convention, journalism has soared to new heights not seen since Baghdad Bob was forced off the air. Not that I really had any faith left in the major media, but I am gonna have to sit this one out. Hopefully until the debates, but I doubt I'll last that long

Monday, August 30, 2004

Worse than I thought
Wow, I thought I'd be able to do it, I really did. I mean, I've sat through the press conferences, speeches, and horrible interviews with George W (some of them multiple times with tivo). I thought I'd slowly built up an immunity to the bullshit and be able to stomach the GOP convention. I lasted 3 minutes tops. I missed McCain, but according to other bloggers, I didn't miss much. I turned it on when I returned from finding out that I do indeed own the cutest kitty of all time and started up in the middle of a 9/11 tribute. Don't get me wrong, I believe in paying tribute to the heroes of 9/11. What they did tonight in the 3 minutes I was watching was disgusting and an insult to their memories by tying their heroism to Bush's policies. The Bushies ignored all warnings to 9/11 and then paid little heed to the actual threat (Afghanistan) and moved on to fucking over Iraq. The worst part of it all, was that the tribute was being done by the families of people who died in in 9/11. I'm used to Bush and gang's horrible distortion of facts, but to have people who should genuinely be pissed and feel utterly betrayed spewing talking points was more than I could handle. I have great respect for those of you who can stomach it. I lasted up until the last woman, whose brother died in 9/11 and whose son was in Iraq. Of all people, she should be outraged, instead she tried to connect 9/11 to Iraq, and then some guy broke into Amazing Grace. They remind me of this horrible church I went to once as a teenager because everyone else was going. All they did was try to play on our emotions and fears. I thought it was dirty back then and it's even dirtier now. The Bushies, instead of doing it themselves (although they have and no doubt will), have enlisted people who have already been victims, and now they will be victims again, they just haven't realized it yet.
The Falcon

Little did Waingroh know it when he woke up this morning, but he would soon gain access to national security secrets that are usually classified for only the highest officials in international intelligence to see. Waingroh is no spy, but has now made a contact that has top-level security clearance and access to information that is so dangerous, this liason's real name cannot be revealed here. To his intrictate web of Government contacts, he's known only as: "The Falcon".

The Falcon pumps gas at the Shell station on 82nd & Foster. As he was filling up Waingroh's Turbo this morning, waingroh made a casual remark about how the price of gas was on the rise. Little did I know, this comment activated The Falcon's subliminal conditioning. He first looked around to make sure no one else was listening (and I could tell he was incredibly well-trained at this, because his right eye continuously wandered around in a circle as he spoke).

"Yup, they expect it to hit $3 a gallon by the end of the year, when the blackouts come," The Falcon said through his two remaining front teeth; he must've taken quite a few beatings in foreign interrogation rooms.

"Really. Blackouts huh? What kind of blackouts?" I asked. The way his haggard face perked up, those must have been the secret code words - and lucky Waingroh happened upon them by chance! The Falcon launched into a monologue about the war in Iraq, the secret war inside the US, the real problems with oil, and the coming "blackouts" that will knock out all communications throughout the country.

"'Cause that's what'll happen when the nukes hit." Whoa. I played it cool, like that's nothing I haven't heard before, but of course I knew I was on to something special; secrets that not just every lucky driver who pulls into the Shell station at 9a.m. can get access to. "Nukes, huh?"

"That's how they'll hit us. 40 briefcase nukes that they'll bring into the country, and explode 'em all at once. Each one's got about a 35-mile radius too, that's how they'll do it. Then they got no choice but fer blackouts." I knew I hit a goldmine of information, but The Falcon was beginning to break down. He was obviously sweating, and I think some of his past CIA training was failing and was affecting his speech, which was a little slurred and drool-producing.

As I was about to ask "So when they hit us with 40 nukes, the price of gas will still only be $3 a gallon?", I decided instead that I didn't want to press him too much further. The Falcon probably had surveillance from all kinds of intelligence agencies on him, and to keep our initial meeting low profile, I drove off with a charity smile. I could hear the Falcon yelling "35 mile radius!" as I drove off, a reminder of my password for the next meeting.

Keep your eyes out, I have a feeling that The Falcon may just be one of a vast gas-station intelligence network.