Variations on a theme
Over the last two weeks, we here at Ludis have grown tired of hearing the phase "moved heaven and earth to prevent an attack." Apparently, Senor McDumbass has too, as he's now saying he would have "moved mountains" to stop an impending attack. In an effort to help Bush's overburdened speech writers, I have taken the liberty... no the freedom, to develop the following talking point variations. Insert the following line after "Had we known that they were going to fly airplanes into our buildings,"

1. We would have moved our collective bowels to combat the horror known as September the eleventh.
2. We would have moved on up to the eastside to a deluxe apartment in the sky to counter that dastardly deed.
3. We would have moved over bacon, here's something meatier to thwart this tragic strike.
4. We would have moved your cheese to defend against those evildoers.
5. We would have moved Alabama's Ten Commandments monument to a much more prevalent location so it could be appreciated by everyone in our great Christian nation to avert them terists form carrying out their mission.