These new cell phone laws have made talking on the phone a pain in my ass. I've already been through 4 bluethooths and one set of ipod ear phones. I'm thinking about buying the jawbone today.

Endless Appetite-

For just about anything that makes me feel good in the short term.

Making new posts for the fuck of it.

#1 Rule for Right Wing Leaders

How much you oppose gay rights, is directly proportional to the likely hood that you will be caught sometime in the future doing things you shouldn't with underage boys, and/or gay male prostitutes.

Faith in Right

I remain an optimist, not that there is any evidence that I can give that right is going to prosper, but because of my unflinching faith that right must prosper in the end….. Our inspiration can come only from our faith that right must ultimately prevail.

Gandhi

Fucking ridiculous

Has anyone in the blogosphere noticed that Israel has started a fucking war????

Words of wisdom

Religion is for people who are afraid to go to hell;

Spirituality is for people who have already been there.

Karma Is a Bitch

Enron founder Ken Lay dies of heart disease

Dr. J/O

Reader M writes in and asks:

...I guess you could say I'm a somewhat normal guy. I'd say my stroke frequency is regular, to very regular. But sometimes I go through periods where I can't beat it enough, which I guess is not that weird, but after a good clip, like 9-12 times I start to feel real guilty. I'm not really doin' anything wrong, I'm just yanking my crank. But I still feel guilty and shameful, Is this normal?????

First things first, lets get one thing straight, M, get rid of the idea that there is any kind normal j/o. If you do it, it (probably)is normal. I would suggest one thing though. When you're stroking upwards of 10 times a day I would imagine you're depleting valuable hormones and nutrients.

I believe it would be diagnosed as post j/o depression, the opposite would be post j/o euphoria. It's primarily a chemical imbalance caused by a little too much poppin' of the pete. If you are having this problem, and insist on beating it that much, I would recommend taking some supplements. It seems that some of the products used for distance can also be used for treating PJ/OD. I believe Peter North has a good one on the market, also you could try TT's new one, Load Maximizer.

I hope that helped, and keep those letters coming.

My palms are sure getting hairy

I've upped my jaggin' off to 16 times a day, one short of my self imposed goal. A month ahead of schedule too. I figure in 6 months I should be completely blind.

Free Fire Zone

It's 9:52 on the 4th here in North Portland, and I could walk outside with my AK and start bustin' caps and no one would even notice.

WOW

I was sucked once again into the gaping hole that is internet porn, and have barely had time to breathe, let alone blog.

I've wanted to get away from the whole political blog thing for a long time, cuz that's pretty much covered by guys a lot smarter than me, or at least a lot less of a life. It just gets kind of old. I still have strong beliefs, but reading and writing about the same shit everyday doesn't do much other than raise my blood pressure.

It seems the lefty blogs have become the equivalent of right-wing talk radio. A bit more intelligent and thoughtful, but only really serves the purpose of keeping the true believers frothing at the mouth. I mean, I know this administration is a bunch whipdickedfuckfaces, so can I go about my day now?

I've never really read any solutions, and the whole get behind the Democrats thing kind of makes me feel like a used up 3 dollar whore. Nobody really acknowledges that the 8 years of Clinton paved the way for these yahoos. It's not like there was a coup d'etat, it was a pretty seamless transition. Look around the world, other the civilians of Iraq and Afghanistan, life hasn't changed that much for the poor around the world, or even in this country for that matter.

Oh, well, I said I wanted to get away from politics. Which makes this the perfect opportunity to start the first masturbatory blog. Blogging all things autoerotic. The first tip will be on stroking with your left hand leaving your right free to point and click (or stick your finger up your ass, but that comes in chapter 8).

So pass it on, if you need help with your jerkin', or maybe your looking for more distance, if strokin' your beef is too inefficient, or you spend to much time playing with your Pete, I'm here to help. And ladies, don't be shy, you've always heard that no one can do it like a guy. Well, if you stick around here long enough you'll be able to pull yer ol' mans pud better than he can himself.

Ludis--- You Could Have the Best Nut of Your Life

Errrr...

We need a timetable, scratch that, no we dont.

Whoops...

I always knew we could trust that handy color coded alert system. Hey I think just spotted some secret al-Qaida messages in that last penis enlargement pop-up ad.

Caption contest...

nobody posts shit on here anymore...so here you go.

"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me - aren't you?"



And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
God bless you, please, Mrs. Robinson.
Heaven holds a place for those who pray,
Hey, hey, hey

Hide in the hiding place where no one ever goes.
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes.
It's a little secret just the Robinsons' affair.
Most of all you've got to hide it from the kids.

I Fucked Ann Coulter...

This should satiate the sick fucks coming here looking for some hot Ann Coulter action. You'll thank me later.

MUST SEE

Watch George Galloway fuck Norm Coleman dry.

I can't emphasize this enough, go watch the clip

Here's an article with more info.

One last thing

I'm always intrigued by how people find this site, and lately there has been some pretty interesting search requirements: pussy fuckin, fuckin pussy, big boobs, fuckstain, fuckin in pussy, about 10 Ann Coulter image searches a day, and my personal favorite, tabla de ge de ge blogspot.

Off to Nebraska

Oh, and never have your wife help you with a haircut.