Not Scared Enough...
So apparently we aren't scared enough of another terrorist attack. Maybe because announcements by Tom Ridge, or Asscroft for that matter, come at times when the White House is trying to divert attention, or maybe because people are starting to realize that the Bushies have been playing off of our fears for too long, but this new one seems to combine ideas... It's released the day after the 9/11 report comes out, at a time when the talking point of the day is "we're safer than we were on 9/11, but we're not safe," which makes as much sense, as Randi Rhodes so eloquently put, "These shoes fit, but they pinch." So in order for them to really grind it in that we could die at any moment Tom Ridge jumps into the spot light...

U.S. Warns Sports Officials of Al Qaeda Threat
HERNDON, Va. (Reuters) - U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge on Friday warned top executives of major American sports organizations that al Qaeda may strike soon -- possibly at large sports events...

He repeated a warning that the government fears al Qaeda might try to stage another large-scale attack in the United States, though he said he had no details on the time, place or method.

So you hear that? You know that game you were gonna go see this weekend, be careful, cause you may DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Found Them!
It was an inadvertent oversight that they said they inadvertently destroyed them...

Pentagon Finds Bush's Guard Records
WASHINGTON - The Pentagon on Friday released newly discovered payroll records from President Bush's 1972 service in the Alabama National Guard, though the records shed no new light on the future president's activities during that summer.

A Pentagon official said the earlier contention that the records were destroyed was an "inadvertent oversight."

Like records released earlier by the White House, the newly released computerized payroll records show no indication Bush drilled with the Alabama unit during July, August and September of 1972. Pay records covering all of 1972, released previously, also indicated no guard service for Bush during those three months.

The records do not give any new information toward determining whether Bush kept his National Guard commitments during 1972, when he transferred to the Alabama National Guard unit so he could work on the U.S. Senate campaign of a family friend.

Not that I ever had any doubt, but this really seals the deal for me. If Bush had been there, with all the resources he's got, he could have proved it by now.

UPDATE: Sorry, I didn't read it closely enough. For some reason when I read "shed no new light" I assumed they were right. Shoulda learned by now. Look at the highlighted portions... doesn't that say he WASN'T there? That seems pretty clear! Leave it to the Bushies to document dump on a Friday night.

Nice Try, Fuckstain

I just saw on the news that Nader failed to make the ballot here in Oregon by fifty votes. Too bad.

Berger Sock Experiment
Finally, a scientific study of the sock stuffing theory... courtesy of Myrick

Armed with a pair of mid-length dress socks and a Brooks Brothers' sock suspenders I attempted walking about my house with various materials – both with and without the braces.

Click here for the results...

No healthcare... but FREE BOOBS!!!
Finally, the incentive I've been waiting for...

Bigger Breasts for Free: Join the Army

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The U.S. Army has long lured recruits with the slogan "Be All You Can Be," but now soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers' dime.

The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the U.S. military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free -- something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills.

"Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible," Dr. Bob Lyons, chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio told the magazine, which said soldiers needed the approval of their commanding officers to get the time off.

Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 breast enlargements and 1,361 liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents, the magazine said.

The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, "the surgeons have to have someone to practice on."

Geez, someone to practice on? Ummm... maybe I won't join. I was soooooo close.

The Daily Show
It started off making fun of the news... but now, as the news is SOOO bad, the Daily Show's spoof on the news, is actually better than the news...

TV critics vote for merit, message
Only television critics, for instance, would have conferred this year's prize for outstanding news and information programming to Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" — vaulting it over rivals like PBS' "Frontline" and ABC's "Nightline."

It was a decision made on both merit and message. As my cross-town rival, Melanie McFarland of the Post-Intelligencer, said when presenting the award, at a time when the mainstream media seem cowed, Jon Stewart and company embody "a core of truth."

The rest of the news media, as Ed Helms would say, "are a bunch of pussies."

What an ass

Well, the Republican party came to Ralph's rescue in Michigan with 40,000 signatures to get him on the state ballot. Ralph, not a man to refuse a gift from his newest and bestest buddies, gladly accepted.

The Whiskey Bar opened up briefly tonight, and the bartender weighed in; Ralph has obviously switched sides. Go have a drink.

Dog Days of Summer

It seems that there hasn't really been much going on lately, well at least anything new going on. And I have been incredibly busy with work, so I am not even gonna try to blog for the next few days.

If you're a total junkie, check out the Agonist or Cursor, for daily Iraq updates, Juan Cole is the way to go.